nostalgia: crush edition

This weekend I had the lovely experience of getting to hang out with friends from when I was a teenager.  It was really kinda like old times, except for the fact that they're married, with kids, now.  But the kids are great - and are definitely their parents children.  I met my friends when we were teens, so now it's like getting to see what they were like when they were younger.

I also got to hang out with friends that I've known even longer.  Which I can hardly believe when I think about it - because how is it that I've been knowing people for over 20 years???

One of the guys and I were really close for a while - and I'm not sure what it was that went wrong - something.  Something he did, I think.  Or, at least, at the time, that's what I would've said.  I wasn't always rational when it came to boys back then, though.  Whatever it was, I quit talking to him for like, a year or two.  I remember one point during that time, talking to a mutual friend, and saying something like "Yeah, I know, but you know what he did!"  Except now, I don't know.  I really don't remember.

And honestly, I don't want to.  I have an inkling that it was something that generally communicated to me that I was not [any  longer] the object of his affection.  Possibly up to and including finding out that he may have been talking to someone else at the same time he was talking to me.  Which would have understandably [vindicatingly, even] left me hurting, and perhaps angry.

We're not close, now.  But we can talk.  We can hang out.  We can reminisce and laugh.  And it's good.  And this weekend, when a friend I met six years ago told him that "we go back", he said, "No. We go back."  And his smile and his look were all part of the memory.  And I only remembered the good parts.  But I remembered all of the good parts. 

It doesn't hurt that he's still cute.

to NOT getting punk'd

I hate April Fool's Day - at least the prank part of it.  Thankfully, no one was feeling froggy this year, so I didn't have to deal with any nonsense.  I'm not into pranks, or scaring people - although I love surprises.

No one ever does surprises for me, though.  I think it's because people don't really know me.  And I wonder if anyone really does.  I wonder if anyone even knows that I like surprises.  I wonder if anyone would even know what I wanted.  And maybe that's it - I don't really want anything, so what would people surprise me with?

I can definitely BE surprised though.  In the scary, jump-out-from-behind-a-corner way.  And it really freaks me out.  I don't hate it to the point of getting angry - but it does get to me. 

A long time ago, a boy I was really into jumped out and scared the mess out of me.  I have not yet forgotten it.  I wasn't angry.  But wow - it really impacted me.  I can't even explain it.  At the time, I feared it had scared some years off of my life.  I might have wet my pants if I'd have been any more frightened.

And this wasn't even on April Fool's.  It was on the eve of a pretty awesome weekend.  Life is funny.  You never know where it'll take you, where you'll end up.  Sometimes moments are just that. 

Sometimes things don't last.