Last night I couldn't get to sleep for a long time. This is rare for me. Normally I'm asleep in less than 10 minutes. But my mind was going - thinking about all the changes at work, changes my family is going through, changes my friends are going through - there's a lot going on. And I guess it all came to a head in my mind last night.
As I lay in bed, eyes closed, thinking - I thought about a friend of mine. The one that some people think I should end up with. And I realized that I love him. That I had already known that I love him. But that it's not the marrying/mushy/romantic kind of love. I want him to succeed, we've been friends forever, and most likely will always be friends. We know each other in ways few other people do. We're comfortable picking up wherever we left off. And that's it.
There were times long ago when I thought there might be more - but I'm glad there never was. There is a certain kind of connection that we have that is seamless, and easy - because there was never anything more or less than our own certain kind of specialness between us.
He's really the closest thing I have to a brother. And I like it like that.
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